My wife Ashley is obsessed with Jersey Mike. She visits him at least three times per week.

Recently, as I was on a work call, I saw the end of a G Chat message sequence that read…it’s been too long. I didn’t open the rest of the message in front of co-workers because who knows what she COULD have been referencing, but it turns out she was talking about Jersey Mike’s #7.

Look at that picture. Her gentle, loving eyes and hungry, lustful hand grasp remind me of a time when the world was ours.

At every wedding I’ve attended, someone mentions how marriage is a challenging journey with ups and downs. I didn’t think this is what they meant.

Of course, I expected our relationship to evolve. Ashley wasn’t going to be twirling in a parking garage for the rest of our days.

(This is what I generally see now in year two of marriage.)

I somewhat get it. Mike’s fresh. He has a special way of doing things, aka “Mike’s Way”. (I don’t know the first thing about fucking red wine vinegar.)

He has a rewards program – Shore Points. Maybe I’m not providing enough positive reinforcement. Taking things for granted. Looking for too many points myself (I have to do a lot more than just eating a damn sub to earn points, by the way), and maybe my laundry stays in the dryer too long.

Ashley isn’t the only one who’s been seduced. Jersey Mike appears to already be a dad.

Maybe Ash likes the his more wild, Jersey vibe. The nostalgia of cabs are here (we walk almost everywhere on the weekends now), t-shirt time and Snookie.

Well, I’m the one with the situation now. What to do?

After much consternation, I’ve accepted it. I gave Mike a try (#8, Mike’s Club). I welcomed Mike into our relationship. While perhaps unorthodox, it’s made things much better. I’m proud of myself, and he’s an alright guy.

It could be worse. It’s better than Jimmy John’s. Can you imagine fighting for the love of your life with a guy named Jimmy? Or working out on the Peloton bike 3X a week, trying to be a zaddy and having Papa John’s steal yo girl?

The Jersey Mike’s sub wrapper says, “We don’t think a sub should be measured in inches long…a sub should be measured by the people who made it…” Well Mike, you seem like you’re made of the right ingredients (and we share similar philosophies).

The “ours” in The World is Ours! can apply to three people.

In closing, I’m reminded of a reading from our wedding I promised to follow titled, “The Art of Marriage” by Wilferd A. Peterson.

I didn’t think sharing my wife with Jersey Mike would be how I applied Wilferd’s thoughtful words, but I’m proud to be living the sentiment conveyed by them:

[Marriage] is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.