Shortly after my 32nd birthday, and for the first time in my life, I finished all eight hot dog buns in the bag without any getting moldy. Pride unexpectedly washed over me like cars on Lake Shore Drive during a summer storm. I was gleefully surprised and ecstatic, but also chaotically confused. Pop Rocks in my brain. What did this mean?! When I pulled the last two Jewel-Osco branded wiener jackets out of the bag to keep my Oscar Mayer turkey cheese dogs cozy, I didn’t immediately realize what I had done.
As I chewed, I thought about it. It was a lot to digest.
By eating these two cheddar turkey dogs for dinner, I was simply trying to eat at home with my wife and dog, save money, utilize the grills on my building’s roof (amenities!) and provide my body semi-healthy sustenance (turkey!). I never set out to eat all eight buns. It wasn’t a S.M.A.R.T. goal. That’s why I bought Jewel-Osco brand buns in the first place. (It’s actually kind of satisfying to throw away moldy buns and make the counter cleaner.)
The eating of all eight buns were a result of years of self discovery and wisdom acquisition.
Should I post about this on LinkedIn?
No, not the right audience. People on LinkedIn are too busy jerking off eachothers’ wieners with self-congratulatory mustard to care about buns.
But these were the two most thoughtful dogs I’ve eaten in my life, so I’ll post it here. If you’re reading this blog, I love you, and I want you to have this acronym.
B
U
Never
Someone else
Bahaha, JK. That’s what a girl who’s been traveling for six months and still doesn’t have a job would post on LinkedIn after she found herself. #NotAllWhoWanderAreLost Let’s be real for a second.
Be an 100-percenter
Understand your values and don’t feel bad about
Needing help
Sometimes great things happen when you least expect it.
Rolls off the tongue like a Joey Chestnut mouth full of buns. A quick breakdown of B.U.N.S. in action:
I fight finishing things all the time. IKEA furniture. The last (or first) set of squats. The Good Place season 1. Fork Me finishing things can be hard. I simply vowed to start finishing things. Every time. (B) Beyond the general finish what you start value, I went to the store and bought regular turkey dogs and turkey dogs with cheese so the whole family could have what they liked best. Family = values. (BU). I didn’t try to eat all the buns myself. My wife helped me eat them (BUN). I accomplished something I never have before in my life that gave me great pride (BUNS).
Will B.U.N.S. become the next S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time Bound) or B.E.E.F. (Balance, Eyes, Elbow, Follow-through)? That’s not for me to say.
Sometimes bread will go moldy. Sometimes you spill mustard on your shirt. When that happens, B.U.N.S. will be there for you. And maybe B.U.N.S. will help you accomplish something you never have before, too.
