“I’m wearing khakis, ha. ha. ha.”
“Shoot. I’m not wearing my khakis today, ha. ha. ha.”
These are my two responses. It’s generally met with luke-warm laughter. The comeback isn’t for me. The Louis C.K. wanna be dropping Jake from State Farm on me doesn’t want a response. Jake from State Farm is the peoples’ joke. I, and all of the Jakes around the world, have taken it long enough.
People have been calling me Jake from State Farm for well over a year. All kinds of people. In all different situations, with no prompting whatsoever. I had a day last October where I was called Jake from State Farm three times in five hours in two different cities. First by an Indian cab driver on the way to O’Hare airport, next by a Precious look-alike at the checkout of one of those airport Chili’s express places and then finally by a waitress at a trendy Atlanta speakeasy-type restaurant that resembled the actress in Girl with a Dragon Tattoo. Every single one gave me the ‘ol JFSF treatment after simply looking at my credit card.
I came back to work from a lovely, relaxing four-day vacation in January to see my desk phone and photo vandalized with Jake from State Farm regalia. Felt so great to be back.
Last week the barista writing my name on my triple nonfat venti latte added a “from State Farm” after I said Jake. I now go by Jerry at Starbucks.
Shit never ends.
What pisses me off is that everyone thinks the Jake from State Farm commercials are funny. They are not. Not even close. They don’t make any sense. Here’s a refresher:
Who would ever be calling from their house about insurance at 3 a.m. like the guy in plaid pajama pants? No accident appears to have occurred where he’d need to file a claim. And why does his wife assume this guy is calling his mistress? Anyone calling insurance companies in the middle of the night from their home phone doesn’t have to worry about having a mistress. (Side note – of all the insurance personalities, Mayhem definitely has the most mistresses. Such a bad boy. Second place is Flo and third is the Aflac duck, who’s seen a huge increase in furry love ever since this whole Cecil the lion situation happened).
Secondly, why is the wife saying she sounds hideous? If her husband actually is having hot landline sex with a guy, her first thought would definitely be one of surprise and anger that their marriage has all been a lie, not that the girl on the line sounds like a man. And what if it is a woman who used to be a man? Have we not learned anything about tolerance from this whole Caitlyn Jenner thing?
“But Jake (Fowler), Jake from State Farm is just a regular guy, that’s why we like him. We have Dockers too. It’s just good, clean, fun, comedy.” NO.
We can do better as a human race. Modern Family is a good, clean comedy. Larry the Cable Guy is just a regular (cable) guy. Jim Gaffigan could be JFSF’s cousin and doesn’t swear. The response to these commercials in an attack on comedy as a genre, TV as a medium of communication distribution, the idea of collective human experiences and laughter itself.
Maybe I’m overreacting. A real Jake who works at State Farm said he doesn’t really mind it. He told the RedEye he thinks it’s a good way to break the ice. “My girlfriend and I will go out and she’ll introduce me as that just as a joke and it gets the conversation going, puts everyone at ease,” he said. Again, NO actual Jake from State Farm. Your girlfriend sucks. You guys probably have date night at Applebee’s for the $10 unlimited apps and she only lets you get the hummus. Why don’t you break the ice like normal people and talk about the weather or mutual friends you have on Facebook or the state of your Alma Maters’ college sports teams?
Don’t just take my word for it guys. Aaron Hutchinson of Federated Insurance is sick of Jake from State Farm too.
“Jake from State Farm makes the rest of us in the insurance industry look like a bunch of squares. Nice khakis and polo bro!”
– Aaron from Federated (if anyone needs insurance or companionship, I can get you in touch with Aaron.)
Aaron makes a great point. I want the insurance associate I work with to be wearing a suit. I have expensive shit I’m insuring. Be a professional.
I also wanted to get the opinion of a friend of mine who dressed up as Progressive’s Flo for Halloween. See what it’s like for the other insurance personalities out there. Here’s what she had to say:
“Being Flo was amazing. I was the most popular and sought after girl in the room – which isn’t unusual (crying laughter face emoji) but the quality and quantity of dudes increased significantly. Random people wanted to take pictures with me and several fellas tried taking me hom. Seriously never been more hit on in my life.”
– Anonymous (My friend took out a little future boyfriend insurance here by staying anon. Flo and Progressive would be proud.)
Those four sentences above have never been uttered by any of the 130 actual Jakes that work for State Farm, or anyone who’s dressed up as him for Halloween. This is reason #436 why he sucks.
Do you guys have a thing you do in your head when someone is saying something awkward or ridiculous that helps you take your mind off what they’re saying? Basically so you don’t just blurt out, “Shut the fuuuuuuuuuuck upppppppp!” in their stupid face? I picture a really chubby dog with his head out the window of a car, wrinkled fat flapping in the wind. Or just mentally yell uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh before saying, “Well, you do you.”
This just isn’t about me. I’ve never met a Jake I didn’t like. Jake’s don’t deserve this. The joke is actually what sounds hideous, person who randomly is yelling “from State Farm!” at me as I introduce myself. I wish State Farm had insurance for assault based on dumb commercials that make no sense. Please make it stop.
I’m so sick of picturing that chubby dog.
THANK YOU! For so long have people been calling me that, and I’m sick of hearing it. It’s been years since that ad even came on tv, and there is literally not a day where I don’t hear the word “Statefarm.” LITERALLY. I hear it upwards of TEN TIMES a day. I’m tired of hearing it. It isn’t funny. The ad was never funny. It’s on the level of unfunny that it can’t even be classified as a joke. Why is it still a thing? Hump day died out, why can’t this garbage? We need to make the words “from Statefarm” illegal to say. Seriously, before any more ‘Jake from Statefarms’ decide to throw themselves off a bridge because they’re sick of putting up with the literal worst joke to ever be aired on TV. Honestly, the day I laugh at a “from statefarm” joke is the day Martians invade and cause the second holocaust. Not happening
Could not agree more. We have to stick together.
THANK YOU! For so long have people been calling me that, and I’m sick of hearing it. It’s been years since that ad even came on tv, and there is literally not a day where I don’t hear the word “Statefarm.” LITERALLY. I hear it upwards of TEN TIMES a day. I’m tired of hearing it. It isn’t funny. The ad was never funny. It’s on the level of unfunny that it can’t even be classified as a joke. Why is it still a thing? Hump day died out, why can’t this garbage? We need to make the words “from Statefarm” illegal to say. Seriously, before any more ‘Jake from Statefarms’ decide to throw themselves off a bridge because they’re sick of putting up with the literal worst joke to ever be aired on TV. Honestly, the day I laugh at a “from statefarm” joke is the day Martians invade and cause the second holocaust. Not happening.
Thank you so much for sharing this, and I totally agree. Worst thing is that when people say the joke, they think it is the most original, funniest, creative zinger that they have ever came up with, but it’s obviously not. It’s pathetic, and just stupid. I hate State Farm, we should all ban together for a class action lawsuit for emotional distress. Or at least all ban together. I live and work in NYC and hear this sh*t everyday, and it literally makes me want to rip their Fu*king throat out. By the way I’m sitting in a Starbucks where the barista just muttered the joke under his breath while mixing my drink… f*ck him too
Don’t be such a drama queen, Jake from State Farm. It’s just a commercial and nothing to get all butt hurt about.
I work at a hospital and introduce myself to patients at least 5 times a day. Literally, I get the Jake from State Farm joke 1/3 of the time.
My name isn’t even JAKE and I am SICK TO DEATH of the Jake from State Farm commercials. They come on every 10 minutes on every channel. I actually turn the channel now when one comes on. I am tempted to cancel my insurance with State Farm just because it’s getting so ridiculous! I LOVE Mayhem!!
I lived in Washington state and got so much of that there. I didn’t think about it being worse moving to a different state and hearing this from everyone!
I’m in my mid 40s and I cringe when I hear..Are U Jake From State Farm? Or..Well Hello Jake From State Farm What Are U wearing? WTF??!!! 😠😡😠🤬💔☠️
Simple minds creating damage as usual!
The people that don’t think it’s a big deal are usually the type of people that make the joke in the first place. For example… “Hi, my name is Jake.” The response: ” jAKe fRom STaTE fARm?!” On the phone I get: “aRe yOU WEArinG kHaKIs?!” I have been dealing with this stupid joke for over 10 years. If anyone not named Jake is reading this… think of how you would feel if it was your name instead?
We need to get a class action suit going. Where are the lawyer Jakes