I think my dog Teddy is Rick James reincarnated.
Look at those faces. And the hair. The visual similarities are obvious when comparing the two side-by-side, but it goes deeper than that.
Teddy is a habitual line stepper. No matter how often we put her on timeout, she still eats the couch.
It’s almost like she’s saying, “Fuck yo couch”. Analyze the videos. Pretty similar behavior.
According to Rick’s friends, he used to just go up to women and lick the whole side of their face.
Teddy does that, too.
There’s compelling evidence beyond just Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Story.
My AIM screen name (RIP) was Superfreak_11822 in honor of Rick’s most popular song, which I came across because of a R&B compilation CD my parents bought me, called “100% Funk”.
The breeder we got Teddy from is in Colorado, where marijuana is legal. This obviously connects to the popular Rick James hit, Mary Jane. In fact, Teddy just had pink eye. Maybe it wasn’t actually pink eye…
The song Mary Jane was on the album Come and Get It! Ironically, that’s what I say to Teddy when we’re playing fetch.
The Superfreak’s struggles with night life were well chronicled. Here’s Teddy after being up all night.
Ok, ok. You might be saying: “Come on, Jake. This is flimsy, circumstantial evidence at best.” A lot of dogs eat couches, lick women’s faces and coincidentally look like funny things. It doesn’t mean anything profound.” For example:
This dog looks like Snoop.
And this dog’s ear looks like Donald Trump.
Teddy herself has imitated The Rock.
I started to question myself.
Maybe this is all just a coincidence.
Then I woke up this morning. I was laying in bed thinking about this post and how I probably went too far with the whole my dog is Rick James thing. Teddy was laying in bed with me as she does after she goes outside for #1 and #2. I was ignoring her and trying to catch a few last Z’s when out of nowhere, everything crystallized.
She paw’d me hard in the face and barked four times.
Ruff ruff ruff, ruff!
Wait, no.
Ruff ruff ruff, ruff!
Yes, I knew I was right!
Ruff ruff ruff, ruff!
It was clear what she was saying…
Ruff ruff ruff, ruff!
I’m Rick James, bitch!