Michigan fans need to take a long look at their Shinola’s. It’s time for a change, and I’m not talking about football.
I mean as fellow humans.
Let me take you to last Friday night before the big Wisconsin vs. Michigan football game.
I’m at the bar next door to my house, a growler of Apex Predators in my now Ron Dayne-sized belly, texting my college roommates about missing the Madison campus on big game weekends.
It’s 11 p.m. when a wedding party lovingly prances into the bar. Whitney Houston/Kygo’s Higher Lover is playing, and I’m believing it exists.
I start talking to a groomsman. He went to Michigan. Banter, banter, banter. I re-open my tab and buy Malort shots for the bride, groom and this “Michigan Man.”
We make a $25 wager on the game. We exchange Venmo information. Talk about how we are men of honor and we’ll pay the next day after the game. Banter, banter, banter.
Cut to Saturday. A game more lopsided than the relationship between an actual Girl and the Goat (Stephanie Izard, UM, ’98).
As the Badgers offense was going Topolobampo (Rick Bayless, UM, ’75) all over Michigan’s defense, a Michigan State alum texted me with glee.
A Texas alum did too. He was so happy for the Badgers.
My friend Chu and I started sharing fond memories from our days working for the Big Ten Conference. The time Kirk Ferentz asked if we had any beer hidden in our workroom. How we like everyone we’ve ever met who went to MSU (and how Izzo and Dantonio remind us of friendly uncles). How beautiful Maryland’s campus is.
We didn’t mention Michigan.
What was going on here? I thought to myself. Why so much angst toward Michigan?
Then the game ended. No Venmo from the groomsman. Was he really not going to pay me?
Monday…still nothing. Should I request money from him?
Tuesday…Michigan played Army just one week ago. Did none of that honor rub off?
Wednesday… my balls were the only thing still saying “Go Blue”.
Today I’m wondering…
How can a state that prides itself on #PureMichigan be so corrupted?
Can a place so beautiful on the outside still be ugly on the inside?
I Googled (Larry Page, UM ‘95) what “Michigan Man” even means nowadays and here are the first two results on Urban Dictionary:
This is all a long way from the virtues the University of Michigan extolls on their website:
“More than any other university, we have the potential to be so much more than the sum of our many excellent parts. It’s this potential to have a positive impact on the society we serve that represents our greatest value as a university.”
He didn’t know it as we watched the game together, but my friend and Michigan alum Motay had the answer to help Wolverine fans get back to realizing their potential.
In the third quarter, with Wisconsin in full Mack Trucks (Ralph Reins, UM, ’63) mode, Motay dejectedly turned to his fiancée and said, “Well, at least we’ll have more time to go to apple orchards now.”
That’s the answer. Apple orchards. Enjoy fall air’s nip with some freshly picked honeycrisps. Apple cider > Halftime Urban Meyer. Donuts in flannel is better than having to change the channel. Refocus on nature’s beauty with the people who matter most.
I believe in the groomsman I shared a Malort with. I know plenty of good people from all parts of the mitten.
That’s why I’m hopeful all Michigan fans will visit a local apple orchard, breathe in the fresh air, walk through a different type of maize, look at the colorful fall foliage and think…if these leaves can change, maybe I can too.