We’ve all been there. A card’s being passed around the office for a birthday, anniversary or last day until you get paid more by somebody else (AKA last day at current job before moving onto that exciting new career opportunity). You have about one minute to sum up your feelings for a person you like, but pretend you don’t see when you pass at Whole Foods. Or maybe you really like them, and a message in a card could never be enough to capture your time together. Either way, you probably end of going with something like:
- Happy birthday! Have so much fun today!
- The team won’t be the same without you!
- It was so great working with you! I’m going to miss you so much and I’m so excited for your new opportunity!
Weak. About as sincere as Julie from the Darkhorse Tavern telling me I’ve won a drink package party for me and 20 of my closest friends.
Here are six different approaches I’ve seen that will help you feel better about what you write in cards for common occasions.
- Reframe the Ask
The #1 best move is to make the card yourself, or not give a card at all. Classic politician move, but it works. Taking the lead is also always appreciated, and it’s easier to be thoughtful when you have more time to think (uhhh no duh). For example:
If your friend is leaving for a new job and hi favorite emoji is an eggplant, have everyone sign a real, big, bulging eggplant:
If you have a friend named Nellie, make up a rap remix medley to Nellie’s hottest jams.
2. Get Comfortable Being Personal
Tying whatever you create/write to a specific memory crucial. Here’s a card we created for our friend “Butter” that we worked on a women’s beauty/shampoo brand with.
And here’s a card my friend Seija gave me for my 30th birthday that called back a pop-culture-related gift I had given her many many moons earlier.
She told me to “Open your heart to receiving a dick in a box. You you dream it, the dicks will come.” This was very personal, but obviously great. I started my birthday off very open-minded, which makes sense given my newfound 30-year-old wisdom.
College Jake giving pop culture-related bday gifts.
3. Write a Bunch of Ha’s
Now, all this jazz might not be realistic given your creative inclinations or how long you’ve procrastinated.
If you simply pick out a funny card like this like I got for my 30th birthday, all you have to write is a bunch of ha’s.
It’s key, and an adult 101 necessity, to have a go-to neighborhood card place or online destination that isn’t a convenience store (Judy Maxwell Genrl Store on Wells is a good one) that you can depend on to find an actually funny card on short notice. Duane Reed sucks at sentiment.
4. Use Outside Resources
Have these three quotes saved down that can fit any occasion and any type of person. People generally love inspirational quotes (country songs are a great place to find them):
5. Get Random AF
A solid “Happy Birthday!” when it’s a person’s last day at work is sure to get an LOL at least and a simple “Love You xoxox” is usually great as long as you end the hugs and kisses train with an x.
A website that can help with your randomness (and with executing some of the more creative ideas mentioned here) is called Fiverr, a marketplace of services ranging from graphic design to the fun and bizarre, all starting at $5. Give it a dabble for all gift-giving occasions.
6. Go Way Above and Beyond
Conversely, and similar to #1, a little extra elbow grease will give even the stodgier Hallmark Heritage collection folks a jealous trouser tingle.
If you’ve read this far, you get to experience the joy of a video my co-workers made a fellow Fast & Furious lover for his last day of work.