I was standing in my kitchen listening to It Goes Down in the DM, my fingers a little slick from the beef stick I had just enjoyed and my mind wondering how many DMs Yo Gotti gets on a daily basis. The last (and only) DM I’ve ever received came from Cars.com. I reached to get my phone off the charger and… whoospie daisies!

Please don’t be cracked. Please don’t be cracked. 

DAMNIT.

That’s the story of the last time I broke my phone screen. Pretty lame. It looks like my Grandma’s old Zenith when it didn’t get reception or a weird art exhibition at your hometown museum on the dangers of tech. Those thoughts led to further thoughts, and upon reflection and rationalization, I think it’s better to have a cracked phone screen. Here’s why:

Gives you street cred

I’m always intrigued by people with cracked phone screens. I could see a nun with a cracked screen and be like, oooo girl you have some confessin’ to do. It shows you have layers. Beneath that J. Crew exterior is something sassier.

Especially if you have a good story on how you cracked it. “I was at Base Camp and explaining to my Sherpa how using Snapchat would be a boon for business when he dropped it onto a jagged rock because his mittens didn’t have fingers.”

Leads to better conversations

Increased street cred and a story like the Sherpa one can lead to titillating conversations that are way better than arguing over the five-day forecast (I heard it’s supposed to snow 5″ Thursday. What?! Andy Avalos said it’s only supposed to snow 3″!) Wait, you climb mountains? Is Jon Krakeur one of your favorite authors? Is Xsport fitness’s climbing wall legit? Were you ever in one of those all-campus snowball fights in college? Now you’re cooking with gas.

Makes you not want to look at your phone

Not looking at your phone has multiple benefits not immediately clear the “I love the ‘gram, I love the ‘gram” double tappers.

You can’t see hot people as clearly online, which will help with your own body image.

Speaking of body image, you also avoid taking selfies like this.

And it’s harder to notice typos, which causes major angst for some people. Think about how many perfect Tinder love matches you have ignored because your to hung up on bad grammar.

Reminds you to be yourself

It’s said love has a powerful way of removing the mask we all insist on wearing. That mask as it relates to your phone is your screen protector. Remove it and feel the love. That Samsung Galaxy S7 screen with the sweet edges looks great until it catches on fire and blows your ear off.

Can you really be touched by your touch screen if you can’t feel it? It’s also said that we all wear masks, and the time comes when you can’t remove them without removing some of our own skin.

Crack your screen and be free.

Helps you conquer your fears

My screen cracks remind me of spider’s webs, which are my greatest earthly fear. Maybe the cracks remind you of your family tree. Or you’re afraid of swimming and the cracks remind you of tributaries. Many among us are afraid of failure. You’ve cracked your screen, but you’re still making calls. Facing fears is the only way to overcome them. Psychology 101.

Makes you the perfect amount of approachable

So the cracks make you a human, intriguing person that’s approachable, but they also show that you don’t F around. Function over fashion. You have things to do. Power lunches to eat and happy hours to network at. Ain’t nobody got time to fix this screen. You’d rather spend $70 on fireballs with friends than $70 at uBreakiFix Device Repair to get a replacement screen. The type of person you know you can talk about the weather with, but only if the rain is going to affect closing the deal on the back nine. That’s right where you want to be.

It unites people under a common experience

With most things in life becoming niche, on demand echo chambers that keep us in our continuous Westworld loops, common experiences we can bond over are harder and harder to find (especially since no one is using Twitter anymore for real-time interactions). Cracked phone screens, major sporting events and Game of Thrones are pretty much all we have left.

I saw a girl walking by a church last week drop her phone on the sidewalk and crack her screen. A huge “yeah, I did some things in Vegas I’m not proud of but I’m young and YOLO“ smile came across her face as she begrudgingly chuckled. Everyone’s done it. In her case, God could have saved her phone. But He didn’t.

I think He’s onto something.